Today, I realized that I’m not ok. You know what else I realized?
Typically, I’d keep days like this to myself. I’d have my moment and that would be that. Well today I want to blog about it. Not for attention or sympathy of any sort. If you know me, you know that’s definitely not it. In fact, I’m sharing this because there is someone who will read this and it will be JUST what they need. There is someone who needs to know that it is okay to not be ok. This too shall pass.
The last year has been a major adjustment for all of us. I’m no different in that. Right now at this moment, it’s about me, Ebony. Now let me be clear. It has not been all bad AT ALL. In fact, I’ve had some of the most amazing moments over the last year, but it’s been heavy. Super heavy and to be honest, I’ve been so busy “being strong” and being this bright light for others that I’ve allowed this enormous amount of pressure to build and sit on me. Right now writing this blog is my release.
“It’s okay to not be ok.”
“This too shall pass.”
“Let the hurt, hurt.”
These words have been echoing in my mind all day.
Being strong has long lost it’s complimentary status since I realized that “being strong” was robbing me of my ability to heal and to actually recognize what it was that I needed to heal from. Today I cried. A lot. And you know what? It’s okay. I’m allowing myself to be all but strong right now, because that is where my healing starts.
So with that being
said written, I’m going to finish my tea that I actually forgot I’d even made until I just looked up. : ) I’m going to shut everything down and just “BE,” Whatever that looks like. Tomorrow is a new day! A new dawn! Good night.